Associated Press – Cedar Falls, IA
May 4th, 2010
by beat writer Mike Staebell
The HuBs snapped their 19 game winning streak last night as they got the Mother-Freaking-Crap kicked out of by BLC. The HuBs managed only 2 hits spread out over 3 innings, scoring zero runs, and lost the game 22-0.
“It was terrifying,” Shortstop Jordan Scales said after the game. “[Soft] Balls were flying everywhere. Whizzing past our faces. There were so many balls flying around, we just didn’t know which ones to grab first.”
The HuBs committed 4 errors in the first inning, which were followed by multiple home runs and extra base hits. BLC scored all 22 runs in the first two innings.
“Unbelievable,” HuB catcher Matt Humpal admitted afterwards. “I can’t believe the ump called that game after 3 innings. We had plenty of fight left. Our vision may have been a little blurry, our faces bleeding badly, and our badly bruised bodies stumbling awkwardly, but in no way were we endangering our lives. Freaking bullshit, man. We had some fight left.”
The referee called the game midway through the 3rd round by wrapping his hands around Humpal, looking into the HuB dugout, and shaking his head “no” emphatically. Softball Promoter Don King (no relation to Anthony) stood aghast as he watched from the dugout, cursing obnoxiously.
“Unbullyable!! Only in HuBerica can such a blatantly offensive, biased call be made! Dis an outrage! I’m callin’ fo a rematch! Dis an outrage!” the promoter cried, waiving his hands in the air.
HuB outfielder Jake Arends could not explain the HuB’s poor performance. “We even showed up an hour and a half early to prepare for the game. Got some Drinking Practice in. Took some cuts at them cans. Didn’t work though, cause we couldn’t hit the ball. Go figure,” he recalled, shaking his head.
“So many balls.” Scales later added, staring off into space. “We didn’t do a good enough job getting our hands on them. Damn those ever-evasive, seductively bouncing balls…”
The HuBs look to “bounce” back next week as they take on OP/The Other HuB at 6:00 CT. More on that later.