Associated Press – Cedar Falls, IA
July 27th, 2009
by beat writer Mike Staebell
Twenty-something years ago, in a run down part of South Bronx, nicknamed Gingerville, a young boy grew up as a disadvantaged youth with some very ambitious dreams. He, like many other children his age, dreamed to one day grow up and be the “bestest” softball player in the world.
But there was just one problem. He was a ginger. And gingers weren’t allowed to play softball with the rest of the kids. His name, was Matt Klein. And this is his story.
Klein led a typical ginger life growing up. He lived in a small, pale white house, with a carrot red roof. The siding of his house had little brown speckles randomly spattered on it, bleached, yet oddly burnt by the sun. Inside his giant red wooden door, the carpet definitely matched the drapes: Jet Red.
He lived in a Ginger House, deep in the heart of Gingerville. Kids would make fun of him. People would stare. They’d say things like, “Hey, look at that ginger over there” and “Oh my God, honey–get in the car!! That ginger kid is coming this way!”
But deep inside his ginger red heart was a drive, a yearning if you will, to one day play softball in the Cedar Falls Recreation Department Monday Night Men’s Minor Leagues, Division II, for The Hub Softball Team. But Commissioner John Crews had a long-standing history of prejudice and bigotry towards gingers, and had made it abundantly clear that no ginger would ever step foot inside Birdsall Stadium.
“I’ll see a Ginger in hell before I see him in a Cedar Falls Recreation Department Monday Night Men’s Minor Leagues, Division II uniform!!!” Crews famously shouted to an angry mob at a state sponsored anti-ginger rally back in 1961.
The Commissioner had made it crystal clear: Gingers were never to be allowed in the league. Ever. And this made Matt a very, very sad little ginger boy.
But what if he had talent? What if he had drive? What if he could withstand the jeers and heckling from the crowds? What if he could convince the Commissioner that maybe, just…maybe, he could put aside his deep hatred for these red-headed, freckle-faced dreamers.
What if Matt Klein could break the Ginger Barrier?
After formal proposals from Klein’s lawyers, an aggressive PR campaign, and an impassioned speech by Dr. Martin Luther Ginger Jr., famously entitled “Gingers Have Dreams Too”, the Commissioner had a change of heart. He would allow just one ginger into the league. Matt Klein’s once impossible childhood dream had become a reality. A shimmering hope for all that could be, a guiding light towards equality, regardless of the color of one’s hair, the complexion of one’s skin, or one’s inability to withstand the effects of the sun’s harmful rays.
Despite massive protests by the fans, resentment from his future teammates, and death threats from hate groups, Matt Klein would be allowed to suit up and wear number 42. To protect his family, he would officially change his name: Ginger Robinson.
But the night before his first game in the league, the momentum of social progress and equality for all came to a screeching halt. Klein had come home from a workout only to realize he had locked himself out of his ginger house. Yes, he left his little red ginger key on top of his little red kitchen counter. Frustrated, he was forced to try to jimmy the door, using his bare ginger hands.
That’s when the call came in. According to reports, a neighbor of Klein’s witnessed “a ginger-looking man trying to force his way into a ginger house.” Police were soon on the scene, and quickly made the arrest. Even though he showed the police identification that proved the ginger house was his own, they still booked him for disorderly conduct after he overreacted to the initial arrest. He was subsequently charged to 33 years in jail, without the possibility of parole. His dream was shattered.
When asked for comment on the arrest, Commissioner Crews said the officers had “acted stupidly”, but would not overturn the sentence.
“Ginger Robinson” will begin his sentence tomorrow morning and will not be released until September of 2042. The last two digits of that year will prove to be significant.
Meanwhile, the Hub won again last night and improved to a perfect 12-0. Two more wins and we get a free keg. Ginger Robinson — we’ll pour out sum licka fo ya.