The Hub’s ace pitcher Anthony “Twan” King lived up to his “bad boy” reputation this past week, as he spent a few days in the slammer. King, who was arrested this past spring for his “alleged” involvment in his second OWI in as many years, will be spending 15 days in Cedar Falls’ maximum security facility.
Most sports fans will remember last spring, when Twan “allegedly” wrapped his $900,000 Lamborghini around a telephone pole. According to police, King left the scene of the accident directly after impact. 30 minutes later, he was found 3 miles away, in a Shakey’s parking lot, asking a fire hydrant for directions. Allegedly.
Authorities detected a strong scent of alcohol on the young right hander. When questioned by police if he was intoxicated, he “allegedly” responded, “Nooo no no. I’m just *hic* really, reeeeally tired cause I’ve been out drinking all night.
He was arrested on the scene for suspected OWI, his second in the last 2 years, which happens to be a franchise record. (As you may recall, the last player to have 2 OWI’s in 2 years was Heathcliff “Three Fingers” McGillicuddy from the 1932 Brooklyn Purple Stockings.)
6 months later, the ace pitcher found himself behind bars. Our journalistic prowess lead us to Cedar Falls’ Maximum Security Detention Center, where we scheduled a 20 minute visit with this talented, yet troubled, young man. When we arrived, we were surprised to see how pampered this star athlete really was. At the end of the dark, smelly, murky jail hallway, stood a giant ivory gate guarded by 2 stone lion statues, and meandering swans wading in a lavish 3 level fountain.
“First of all, I was not driving that car,” Twan rebuked, dressed in an orange jumpsuit, swaying back and forth from his hammock, awkwardly steering his Nintendo Wii controller. “And secondly, even if I was, I have a little more hand-eye coordination than that,” he giggled, motioning towards his Mariokart Wii match, displayed on his 72 inch flat panel wall mounted television.
When asked about his “alleged” altercation with the fire hydrant in the parking lot, Twan snapped. “This interview is over. Leave me with my Mariokart.” He then motioned towards one of his 3 bodyguards, who then hurriedly ushered us out of his jailbird suite.
Manager Mike Staebell once again defended his ace pitcher. “Ya know, it’s just one of those things. It happens to everybody.” Staebell offered, scratching his head. “Drinking 14 beers, 8 shots of tequilla, and nine daiquiris can be really exhausting.” He paused, then added, “Allegedly.”
Hang in there, Anthony. We look forward to your return to the outside world